Want, Willing, Won’t: Use This Simple Exercise to Figure Out Your Boundaries for Change
The Want, Willing, Won’t Exercise helps align your goals with what’s realistic and sustainable.
If you’re a high-achieving professional navigating chronic stress and burnout, you're likely familiar with the feeling of being stretched too thin. Whether you're a leader in your field, a dedicated team member, or a business owner, it often feels like there’s never enough time or energy to juggle all of your priorities. While stress is a part of success, the key to sustainable high performance is knowing when to make intentional changes to preserve your well-being.
You may have tried various strategies to address stress—workouts, diets, time-management techniques, or even mindfulness practices—but not all of them have led to the desired outcomes. Some may even feel like they add more pressure instead of relieving it. This isn’t surprising.
Deep health, which integrates physical, mental, emotional, relational, environmental, and existential dimensions, cannot be treated with a blanket solution. It needs to fit your specific needs and your unique life circumstances. To guide you toward changes that make sense for your health and wellness, I’d like to introduce a simple framework that can help you determine what truly works for you: The Want, Willing, Won’t Exercise.
The Want, Willing, Won’t Framework
This framework is designed to help you reflect on three critical questions:
1. What do you WANT to change or improve?
This is about identifying your deepest desires. It's essential to articulate exactly what you want to see in your life, whether it's better stress management, more energy, improved sleep, or clearer boundaries at work. These are the things that will directly impact your mental and physical health.
If you're struggling with burnout, this might be the most important question you can answer. Reflect on what will make the most significant difference in your life right now, and get specific.
2. What are you WILLING to do to make that change?
Now, we get practical. What actions are you genuinely open to taking? These should be steps you can start implementing today—small, achievable changes that you can incorporate into your existing routine.
For example, if you want better sleep, are you willing to cut out screen time an hour before bed? If you want to reduce stress, are you willing to delegate more tasks or set clearer boundaries at work?
The key is that these actions need to be reasonable and manageable for you at this moment in time. Setting realistic expectations for yourself is essential to avoid feeling overwhelmed by your goals.
3. What WON’T you do for that goal right now?
This is arguably the most important question in the process. It’s essential to acknowledge what you're not willing to change and what won’t work for you in your current lifestyle. Maybe you're not ready to give up your daily morning coffee, or perhaps the idea of waking up an hour earlier for a workout feels too daunting.
Being clear about these boundaries will help you avoid burnout from trying to implement changes that aren’t feasible for you. It also helps you avoid wasting energy on strategies that, while effective for others, simply aren’t a fit for your life.
The Benefits of the Want, Willing, Won’t Exercise
Realistic goal setting: This framework helps you create a plan that is based on what you genuinely want and are willing to do, rather than a generic solution. By identifying what you’re unwilling to change, you avoid overcommitting to unfeasible changes that could lead to burnout.
Clarity and focus: By being clear on your intentions, you eliminate the ambiguity and decision fatigue that come from trying too many things at once. When you're overwhelmed by choices, the simple act of narrowing down your focus can be a relief.
Personalized wellness: No two individuals are the same. What works for one person may not work for another. This exercise helps you take control of your health journey by ensuring the solutions you pursue are tailored to your lifestyle, needs, and preferences.
The Importance of Fit
Stress management and burnout recovery are deeply personal. It's not about following a one-size-fits-all solution, but rather about finding what aligns with you, where you are in your career, your personal life, and your physical and mental well-being. Change takes time, and it's essential to approach it from a place of balance, not pressure.
By using the Want, Willing, Won’t framework, you empower yourself to make intentional changes that fit your life and lead to lasting wellness. In the end, the most effective solutions are the ones that feel sustainable and realistic—not the ones that add to the list of things you should be doing. Start small, stay honest with yourself, and over time, you’ll see meaningful shifts in your health, stress levels, and overall resilience.
Want-Willing-Won’t Exercise
Please answer the questions as honestly as you can. There are no right or wrong answers.
What do you want to do or change?
What are you willing to do for that goal right now?
What won’t you do for that goal right now?
Taking the time to reflect on your desires, boundaries, and current capacity is a powerful first step toward reclaiming your well-being. Through intentional, manageable changes, you can reduce stress, recover from burnout, and achieve the lasting health you deserve—on your own terms.
Final Thoughts
It's easy to get lost in the hustle and fall victim to burnout. But true recovery and stress management don’t come from drastic, overwhelming changes—they come from clarity and intentionality. The Want, Willing, Won’t exercise helps you align your goals with what’s realistic and sustainable, empowering you to take control of your health journey without sacrificing the aspects of life that matter most to you.
By distinguishing between what you want to change, what you are willing to change, and what you won’t change, you create a personalized approach that honors your unique needs. Remember, the key to lasting wellness isn’t about adopting a perfect regimen; it’s about finding small, meaningful adjustments that enhance your life, not add stress to it.
Take your time, stay true to yourself, and remember that the best strategies for stress management and burnout recovery are the ones that fit seamlessly into your life. When you focus on what’s truly possible, you’ll make progress—sustainably and with purpose.
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Article References
The sources cited in the article:
National Institutes of Health (NIH). “Stage of Change Theory.” NIH - Stages of Change Theory
Positive Psychology (PP). “How to Assess and Improve Readiness for Change.” PP - Assess and Improve Readiness for Change
healthline. “People Can Change, But That Doesn’t Mean They Will.” healthline - People Can Change, Doesn’t Mean They Will
Harvard Business Review(HBR). “To Get People to Change, Emphasize What Will Stay the Same.” HBR - To Get People to Change
Psychology Today (PT). "Willingness to Change.” PT - Willingness to Change
NPR. "Learning a New Skills Can Be Hard: Here’s How to Set Yourself Up for Success.” NPR - Learning a New Skills Can Be Hard
