If the Holidays Are Your Time to Recover From Work, You Might Be Suffering From Chronic Stress
The stretch between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is often presented as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many, especially those facing occupational burnout, financial strain, or a sense of stagnation in their lives, the holidays can feel like anything but. This period can amplify stress, highlight unresolved challenges, and leave us wondering how we can reclaim our health and energy while juggling expectations and realities. If you’ve ever spent the holidays stressed out about Q4 numbers and unable to completely disconnect, you know. #IYKYK
Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist, suggests that holidays should be for rejoicing, not recovery. While this perspective encourages celebration, it also highlights an essential question: What if your holiday feelings reveal deeper stressors that need attention?
As a health and wellness coach specializing in burnout recovery and stress management, I want to offer practical, no-nonsense strategies to help you enjoy your holiday season and evaluate if it’s time to get support for chronic stress and burnout.
Why Holidays Are Not a Substitute for Recovery
Holidays are often seen as an opportunity to "catch up" on rest. However, true recovery requires more than a few days off—it’s about creating sustainable habits and addressing the root causes of stress. While vacations and PTO may provide temporary relief, it won’t break the cycle of overwork-chronic stress-burnout. If you find yourself needing the holidays to simply function, it may signal deeper issues with work-life balance, boundaries, or unresolved emotional stressors.
Instead of using this time as a bandaid solution, use it as an opportunity to reflect on your overall health. Are you feeling joyful and connected, or are you simply trying to survive?
Signs That Holiday Stress Reflects Deeper Burnout
Emotional Exhaustion:
Do you feel too tired to enjoy festive activities?
Are you easily irritated or overwhelmed by small tasks or interactions?
Physical Symptoms:
Are headaches, digestive issues, or insomnia more prominent during this time?
Do you rely on sugar, caffeine, or alcohol to "get through" the holidays?
Detachment from Joy:
Do traditional holiday activities feel like burdens rather than sources of happiness?
Are you emotionally disconnected from loved ones?
Guilt Over Disconnecting from Work:
Do you feel like a "bad employee" for taking time off?
Do you check emails or think about work even when you're on vacation?
These signs are not just holiday stress—they’re signals that your overall well-being may need attention.
How to Enjoy the Holidays Without Neglecting Deeper Needs
The holiday season offers a unique opportunity to celebrate, connect, and reflect, but it can also be a valuable time for self-awareness and recovery. By mindfully balancing joy and self-care, you can nurture your well-being without compromising your need for meaningful restoration.
Here are actionable ways to embrace the holidays while addressing your deeper needs:
1. Focus on Joy, Not Obligation
Reflect on what truly brings you joy during the holidays. Is it spending time with loved ones, engaging in traditions, or simply resting? Let your answers guide how you spend your time. Be intentional about choosing activities that align with your values and emotional needs, rather than defaulting to obligations.
Reframe holiday traditions based on what brings you happiness. For example:
If large gatherings feel draining, suggest smaller get-togethers with close friends or family.
Replace high-pressure rituals (like multiple days of elaborate cooking) with simpler, meaningful activities, like a sandwich board game night or salon gathering for conversation, appetizers, and beverages.
2. Use the Holidays to Identify Stress Patterns
The way you approach the holidays can reveal much about your current stress levels.
Do you dread family dynamics, feel drained by work-related guilt, or feel stretched financially?
Pay attention to these feelings as they can provide insight into larger stressors in your life.
Treat this time as a self reflection tool to understand how different aspects of your life contribute to your overall well-being.
3. Reassess Work-Life Boundaries
If you feel guilty about disconnecting from work:
Acknowledge Your Right to Rest: Remind yourself that PTO is earned, not a favor you’re granted.
Set Clear Boundaries: Turn on an out-of-office reply and disable notifications. Let coworkers know you’ll respond when you’re back.
This can be challenging in toxic work environments, but even small acts of boundary-setting are important to establishing long-term change.
4. Set a Boundary and Keep It
If the holidays come with financial, emotional, or time pressures, proactively set one boundary you’re determined to uphold. This might mean:
Sticking to a budget for gifts.
Limiting your attendance at events that feel draining.
Turning off work notifications entirely during your PTO.
5. Prioritize Emotional Connection
Seek out relationships that uplift you. Instead of spreading yourself thin across many interactions, focus on quality time with a few key people who recharge your emotional energy.
6. Create Moments of Solitude and Reflection
Between holiday events, carve out quiet time for self-reflection. Use journaling, mindfulness, or even a solo walk to check in with yourself. Ask questions like:
What am I enjoying most about this season?
What is adding stress, and how can I mitigate it?
How can I align my actions with my long-term health goals?
7. Celebrate Progress, Not Perfection
If you’re recovering from burnout or managing chronic stress, avoid placing unrealistic expectations on yourself to “make the most” of the holidays. Recognize small wins—like saying no to an obligation that drains you or taking an hour for self-care—as meaningful progress.
It’s OK to say NO to obligations, expectations, and events that drain you.
8. Balance Connection with Rest
While the holidays are often about togetherness, don’t underestimate the power of alone time for recharging. Alternate social events with intentional rest periods. Plan downtime before and after larger gatherings to recalibrate and avoid overextension.
Even amid the holiday hustle, carve out time for self-care:
Daily Reflection: Spend 5–10 minutes journaling about what brings you joy and what drains you.
Movement: Incorporate gentle activities like yoga, stretching, or nature walks.
9. Reframe the Season as a Springboard for Recovery
Think of the holidays as a launchpad for sustainable health habits, not a temporary reprieve. Start small: prioritize quality sleep, incorporate light physical activity, and experiment with stress-reducing techniques like deep breathing or guided meditation. Building these habits now can make it easier to continue them into the new year.
By aligning your holiday activities with your needs, values, and goals, you can celebrate in a way that feels joyful and restorative. This balance is key to enjoying the season while laying the groundwork for deeper recovery.
When to Seek Support
The holidays often act as a spotlight, revealing deeper issues that may have been overlooked during the busyness of everyday life. If you find yourself repeatedly feeling overwhelmed, resentful, or disconnected, it’s worth considering whether additional support is needed.
Pay attention to the following signs, which can indicate underlying challenges requiring professional guidance:
Emotional Red Flags
Persistent sadness or irritability: If the holidays leave you feeling consistently down, angry, or emotionally detached, it may point to unresolved stress or burnout.
Anxiety about work or family obligations: If you’re dreading time off due to guilt or fear of what awaits when you return, it’s a sign your work-life balance needs attention.
Physical and Mental Fatigue
Exhaustion that doesn’t improve with rest: Chronic fatigue, despite time off or reduced workloads, often signals deeper burnout or physical depletion.
Difficulty concentrating: If you’re unable to focus on holiday tasks or conversations, it might be a sign of mental overload.
Social Strain
Resentment toward loved ones: Feeling frustrated or resentful during family gatherings can reflect strained relationships or the impact of boundary violations.
Withdrawing from others: If you find yourself avoiding social interactions altogether, it could indicate emotional overwhelm or burnout.
Behavioral Patterns
Overeating, drinking, or overspending: Using food, alcohol, or spending to cope with holiday stress might suggest a need for healthier stress-management tools.
Inability to disconnect from work: If you struggle to turn off work notifications or feel compelled to respond to emails during your PTO, deeper workplace issues might be at play.
Recurring Patterns
If this holiday season feels strikingly similar to past years—marked by exhaustion, conflict, or feeling unfulfilled—it could be a sign of unresolved, systemic stressors.
How Support Can Help
Therapists can assist in processing trauma, improving communication with family, or addressing mental health challenges like anxiety or depression.
Health coaches can guide you in setting realistic boundaries, building sustainable self-care practices, and finding alignment between your health and professional goals.
Workplace mentors or advocates can help you navigate difficult conversations with supervisors or HR to address toxic work environments.
Taking the First Step
Acknowledging the need for help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a proactive step toward reclaiming your well-being. Start small:
Reach out to a trusted friend or loved one to share how you’re feeling.
Schedule a consultation with a therapist or coach to explore your needs.
Join an online support group to connect with others who understand your struggles.
By seeking support, you create the opportunity for growth and relief, allowing future holidays to be a time of true joy and connection, rather than stress and survival. Remember, the most meaningful gift you can give yourself is the opportunity to heal and grow.
Remember: seeking support is not a sign of weakness; it’s an investment in your well-being and future happiness.
Article References
The sources cited in the article:
Forbes. "Adam Grant On What the Holidays Can Tell You About Burnout." Forbes - Adam Grant, Holidays, Burnout
SHRM. “10 tips for Addressing Workers’ Heightened Holiday Stress.” SHRM - 10 Tips for Addressing Holiday Stress
The New York Times. "How To Actually Enjoy the Holidays." NYTimes - How to Manage Holiday Stress
UnitedHealthcare (UHC). "The Impact of Holiday Stress on Mental Health and Productivity.” UHC - Holiday Stress
Forbes. “53% of Workers With Holiday Stress: 4 Things Employers Can Do to Help.” Forbes - Workers with Holiday Stress
