Two Crazy Questions to Find Your Way Forward
Change is hard. Whether it’s adopting healthier habits, leaving a toxic job, or finally prioritizing your mental health, taking the leap can feel overwhelming. It’s no wonder many of us live in a state of ambivalence—stuck between wanting to change and fearing the unknown. But what if the key to moving forward wasn’t convincing yourself to change, but instead understanding what’s holding you back?
Enter the two crazy questions. These questions are designed to dig deep into the psychology of change, helping you confront the hidden dynamics of your ambivalence. Let’s break them down:
Crazy Question 1: What is GOOD about NOT changing?
This might seem counterintuitive. After all, if you’re exploring change, doesn’t that mean there’s something wrong with the status quo? But here’s the truth: even the most detrimental habits or circumstances often serve a purpose.
Why ask this? This question reveals the benefits—yes, benefits—of staying the same. It forces you to acknowledge what’s working for you right now. For example:
Comfort and predictability: Sticking to what you know feels safe.
Immediate gratification: Unhealthy coping mechanisms, like stress eating or doom-scrolling, may provide short-term relief from stress or boredom.
Avoidance of discomfort: Changing means facing fears, taking risks, or confronting emotions you’d rather bury.
By identifying these hidden “perks,” you gain clarity on why change feels so daunting. And clarity is the first step toward creating meaningful action.
How to reflect:
What aspects of your current routine feel safe or comfortable?
What emotional or physical benefits do you get from staying the same?
How does the status quo help you avoid challenges or discomfort?
Crazy Question 2: What would be BAD about changing?
This question asks you to explore the downsides of taking that leap. It’s an honest way to confront your fears and uncover what’s really at stake.
Why ask this? Change comes with trade-offs. Even positive transformations often require you to sacrifice something—time, energy, or even identity. For instance:
Loss of routine: Starting a morning workout might mean waking up earlier and losing precious sleep.
Social disruption: Changing your habits might challenge relationships with friends or coworkers who share your current patterns.
Fear of failure: The possibility of not succeeding can make staying put feel safer.
These fears aren’t just obstacles—they’re vital clues. Understanding them helps you create a plan that addresses your real concerns.
How to reflect:
What routines or comforts might you lose by changing?
How could change disrupt your relationships or identity?
What fears come up when you think about trying something new?
Turning Ambivalence into Action
When you ask yourself these two questions, you might uncover answers that surprise you. The status quo may feel safer than it really is, or the fears of change might seem smaller when examined closely. This is where the magic happens: you shift from black-and-white thinking (“I should change, but I’m scared”) to a nuanced understanding of your ambivalence.
From there, you can start engaging in change talk—statements that express your desire, ability, or reasons for changing. For example:
Instead of "I can’t give up my comfort foods," try "I’d feel so much better physically if I didn’t overeat when stressed."
Instead of "I’m afraid I’ll fail at creating a consistent routine," try "I’ve succeeded in sticking to small changes before, and I could build from there."
Practical Tips for Applying the Two Crazy Questions
Journal Your Answers: Dedicate 10-15 minutes to write honestly about both questions. No judgment—just let your thoughts flow.
Find Patterns: Look for recurring themes in your answers. Are you prioritizing comfort over growth? Are you afraid of failure? These patterns are your roadmap.
Create a Bridge Plan: Address the fears and losses identified in question two. For example, if you’re worried about time, start with a micro-change, like a 5-minute stretch routine instead of an hour-long workout.
Enlist Support: Share your reflections with someone you trust. Talking through your fears can help you reframe them.
Why This Matters for Stress and Burnout Recovery
Ambivalence keeps people trapped. These two questions can help you unpack the subtle resistance holding you back from prioritizing your health. Whether it’s making time for daily walks, setting boundaries at work, or embracing stress-reduction techniques, the insights you uncover will guide you toward meaningful, sustainable change.
The goal isn’t to eliminate your ambivalence—it’s to understand it. Because once you see the full picture, you’re no longer stuck. You’re empowered to move forward—one small step at a time.
Article References
The sources cited in the article:
Precision Nutrition (PN). "How To Talk To People So They’re More Likely To Change." PN - Change Talk
Positive Psychology (PP). “What Is Motivational Interviewing? A Theory of Change.” PP - What is Motivational Interviewing?
Cambridge University Press (CU). “Motivational Interviewing and Decisional Balance.” CU - Motivational Interviewing
National Institutes of Health (NIH). "Motivational Interviewing and Decisional Balance." NIH - Motivational Interviewing
Psychology Today (PT). “The Roots of Ambivalence.” PT - The Roots of Ambivalence
Psychology Today (PT). “Exploring Ambivalence.” PT - Exploring Ambivalence
