"How’s That Working for You?": Ask This Question to Evaluate If Your Actions Support Where You Want To Be
Our actions and decisions carry weight, shaping the direction of our lives and the outcomes we experience.
One simple yet profoundly impactful question can provide clarity: “How’s that working for you?”
This isn’t just a rhetorical prompt. It’s a hard truth of self-awareness, inspired by motivational interviewing and the psychology of change. When answered honestly, this question helps evaluate whether current actions and behaviors align with your desired outcomes. It’s not about assigning blame but empowering you to recalibrate your efforts and make meaningful progress. This question serves as a hard look in the mirror, reflecting the effectiveness—or ineffectiveness—of our current habits, decisions, and behaviors in achieving our goals.
It’s not about assigning blame or dwelling on failures. Instead, it’s an invitation to take ownership of your journey. By evaluating your actions with curiosity rather than judgment, you gain the power to recalibrate, realign, and make meaningful progress toward the life you truly want.
Why Asking “How’s That Working for You?” Matters
Many people are committed to actions or habits because they’re familiar, comfortable, or seem logical on the surface. But familiarity doesn’t always equal effectiveness. Evaluating whether a behavior is genuinely helping—or hindering—your progress is crucial for achieving deep health and sustainable success.
Authenticity Meets Effectiveness: Actions that feel authentic to who you are—aligned with your values and personality—are more likely to stick. However, they also need to be productive. The goal is to balance authenticity with outcomes.
Feedback Loop for Growth: When something isn’t working, it’s an opportunity to course-correct, not a failure. Honest self-assessment turns setbacks into feedback, fueling better choices.
Avoiding the Trap of Busyness: High achievers often equate action with progress. But being busy isn’t the same as being effective. This question forces you to pause and evaluate whether your efforts are yielding meaningful results.
Evaluating Your Actions: A Practical Framework
To effectively answer “How’s that working for you?” you need a framework that encourages both self-awareness and strategic decision-making. Here’s how to do it:
1. Define Your Desired Outcome
Before evaluating whether something is working, clarify your goals. Vague aspirations like “I want to be healthier” or “I want to manage stress better” aren’t enough. Be specific:
Physical health: “I want to exercise three times a week and improve my cardiovascular fitness.”
Stress management: “I want to feel less overwhelmed by work deadlines and have energy left for my family.”
Without a clear destination, it’s impossible to gauge whether your actions are on the right track.
2. Take Inventory of Your Current Actions
Write down the actions, habits, and behaviors you engage in daily or weekly to achieve your goals. Examples:
For stress management: Practicing mindfulness, drinking less coffee, or taking short breaks during work.
For fitness: Attending a spin class, meal prepping, or tracking steps.
3. Assess Each Action: Helpful, Harmful, or Neutral?
Evaluate whether each behavior contributes to or detracts from your goal. Ask yourself:
Is this behavior moving me closer to my goal?
Does it feel sustainable and authentic to me?
Am I seeing measurable progress because of this action?
Helpful actions drive progress, align with your values, and feel manageable. Harmful actions sabotage your efforts, often without you realizing it—like stress-eating or overloading your schedule. Neutral actions may not hurt, but they waste time and energy without moving the needle.
Why People Stick to Ineffective Actions
Even when something clearly isn’t working, people often double down instead of pivoting. Why?
Cognitive Biases: The sunk cost fallacy makes it hard to abandon habits or strategies you’ve invested time or resources into, even if they’re ineffective.
Fear of Change: Change feels risky, and sticking to the status quo can seem safer.
External Validation: Actions that look good externally (like working late to impress your boss) may not align with your personal goals.
Recognizing these tendencies is the first step in breaking free from them.
Recalibrating When Something Isn’t Working
When an action doesn’t deliver the desired results, it’s not a dead end; it’s a detour. Use these steps to recalibrate:
1. Ask Why It’s Not Working
Are you inconsistent?
Is the action unsustainable?
Does it fail to address the root cause of your challenge?
For instance, if yoga isn’t reducing your stress, it might be because you’re squeezing it into an already packed schedule, making it another source of stress.
2. Experiment with Alternatives
Replace ineffective actions with ones that might work better. If one workout routine isn’t helping, try another that fits your lifestyle. Experimentation leads to discovery.
3. Stay Honest, Not Judgmental
Self-reflection works best when you approach it with curiosity, not criticism. Instead of asking, “Why am I failing?” ask, “What can I learn from this?”
4. Commit to Small, Consistent Changes
Small actions compound over time. Instead of overhauling everything, make incremental changes based on your evaluation.
Turning Feedback into Fuel
Ultimately, people do what they want to do. And that’s okay—as long as it’s leading you where you want to go. If you’re not reaching your goals, the gap between where you are and where you want to be is valuable feedback.
Use it as fuel to reassess your approach.
Accept that discomfort is part of growth.
Remember: Progress isn’t linear, but intentionality ensures you’re always moving forward.
Final Thoughts: A Simple Question, Profound Results
“How’s that working for you?” is deceptively simple but deeply transformative. It challenges you to own your choices, confront what isn’t serving you, and take control of your trajectory.
This question is a tool for aligning your actions with your aspirations. When you answer honestly and act accordingly, you shift from autopilot to intentionality, unlocking a path to sustainable success and deep health.
So, ask yourself: How’s that working for me? The answer could change everything.
Article References
The sources cited in the article:
Psychology Today (PT). "How’s That Working for You?" PT - How’s That Working for You?
Positive Psychology (PP). “Cognitive Dissonance: Theories, Examples, and How to Reduce It.” PP - Cognitive Dissonance
Harvard Business Review (HBR). “Beware a Culture of Busyness.” HBR - Beware a Culture of Busyness
Harvard Business Review (HBR). “Take Ownership of Your Actions by Taking Responsibility.” HBR - Ownership of Actions
Forbes. "The Power of Reflection and Self Assessment." Forbes - The Power of Reflection and Self Assessment
CultureAmp. “Why Self-Reflections Are an Important Part of the Performance Review Process.” CultureAmp - Self Reflections
Harvard Business Review(HBR). “What Stops Us from Reaching Our Goals?” HBR - What Stops Us from Reaching Our Goals?
