How to Strategically Approach the Holidays to Manage Stress & Protect Your Peace
The holidays often arrive with a swirl of expectations—celebrations, family gatherings, and a break from the grind. But for many, Thanksgiving and the holiday season mark a time of anxiety, stress, and dread. If you’re feeling burned out, overwhelmed by family dynamics, or unsure how to navigate this season with your mental and emotional health intact, you’re not alone.
As a health and wellness coach who specializes in stress management and burnout recovery, I’ve seen how the holidays can magnify existing pressures—whether from work, strained relationships, or unresolved trauma. The good news? With the right strategies, you can approach Thanksgiving with more confidence, less stress, and a clear plan for recovery.
Here’s how to manage the holiday season from preparation to recovery.
Managing Holiday Stress on Thanksgiving Day
Thanksgiving can be particularly draining, whether you’re hosting, traveling, or simply showing up. Here’s how to make it through the day with your well-being intact:
Set Realistic Expectations. You don’t have to please everyone. Decide what is realistically manageable and stick to it. If you can only commit to a few hours of family time or need to order takeout instead of cooking, that’s perfectly fine.
Build in Buffer Time. Allow for breaks during the day, even if it means excusing yourself for a short walk or quiet moment. Use these intervals to ground yourself with deep breathing or mindfulness techniques.
Prepare Responses in Advance. Family dynamics can be tricky. If you’re anticipating intrusive questions or unwelcome topics, rehearse calm, assertive responses. Phrases like, “Let’s keep the conversation positive,” or “I’d rather not discuss this today,” can be lifesavers.
Choose Your Battles Wisely. Not every comment or action requires a response. Ask yourself, “Will engaging in this argument serve me, or will it drain me?” Opt for your peace over proving a point.
Stick to Your Routine. Don’t neglect basic self-care. Stick to your eating, sleeping, and hydration routines as much as possible. Overindulging or neglecting your body’s needs will only heighten stress.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Boundaries are your strongest defense against holiday overwhelm. They allow you to prioritize your needs without guilt protecting your mental and emotional well-being, especially during the holidays. Without them, it’s easy to overextend yourself, give in to guilt, or feel trapped in toxic situations. The best time to start setting your boundaries is now—well before the holiday gathering. Communicating early and clearly gives others time to adjust their expectations and reduces last-minute pressure on you. Even if you’re close to Thanksgiving Day, it’s never too late to assert your needs.
Here’s how to establish and maintain boundaries effectively:
Identify Non-Negotiables. Ask yourself what’s essential for your mental and emotional health this holiday season. Whether it’s avoiding a specific person, limiting alcohol, or prioritizing rest, honor those needs.
Communicate Clearly. Be upfront about your boundaries. For example:
“I can attend dinner from 3 to 6 PM, but I’ll need to leave after that.”
“I appreciate the invite, but I need a quiet evening this year to recharge.”
Understand Tolerance Levels. It’s okay to tolerate minor annoyances or discomfort for the sake of family harmony. But if the situation compromises your mental health or crosses a personal boundary, it’s better to remove yourself entirely.
Recovery After the Holiday
Even a well-managed Thanksgiving can leave you feeling drained.
The days following Thanksgiving are just as important as the day itself. Recovery isn’t about erasing what happened—it’s about processing, rebalancing, and restoring your energy. Without a recovery plan, the emotional and physical toll of the holiday can linger, leaving you more stressed as you head into the rest of the season. Start thinking about your recovery plan even before the holiday begins. Knowing you have time set aside to rest and recalibrate can make Thanksgiving Day feel less overwhelming.
Here’s how to prioritize recovery and reset after the holiday:
Debrief and Reflect. Take stock of how the day went. What worked? What didn’t? Use this as a guide for future holiday gatherings.
Schedule “You Time.” Dedicate the day after Thanksgiving to rest and recharge. This could mean staying off social media, enjoying a quiet activity, or scheduling a workout to reset your energy.
Practice Self-Compassion. If you snapped at someone or didn’t stick to your boundaries, let it go. Holidays are challenging, and you’re human.
Rebalance Your Routine. Return to your usual wellness practices. A few days of healthy meals, exercise, and adequate sleep will help counteract any holiday indulgences or disruptions.
When to Walk Away
Sometimes, the healthiest choice is opting out of a gathering entirely. If being around certain people consistently triggers anxiety, trauma, or emotional pain, consider whether attending is worth the toll on your health.
Sometimes the healthiest choice during the holidays is to step away from certain gatherings altogether. This can be one of the most difficult decisions to make, especially when societal and familial expectations urge you to “show up no matter what.”
However, your mental and emotional health must come first. Deciding to avoid a holiday gathering doesn’t make you selfish or weak—it makes you intentional about your well-being. Start evaluating whether to walk away as soon as invitations or plans arise. This allows you to weigh the potential benefits against the risks to your health and prepare an alternative plan if needed.
Here’s how to know when walking away is the best choice:
Signs It’s Better to Avoid
You feel physically sick at the thought of attending.
Past gatherings have caused significant emotional harm.
Your mental health professional advises against attending.
When to Seek Professional Support
The holidays can amplify stressors and bring unresolved issues to the surface, making it difficult to manage on your own. Recognizing when you need additional support is crucial for your long-term health.
Whether you’re struggling to recover from burnout, navigate family trauma, or handle intense emotions, reaching out for help is a sign of strength, not failure. Start reflecting on your emotional state as the holiday season begins, and don’t hesitate to seek help at the first signs of overwhelm. The sooner you reach out, the quicker you can receive the support you need.
Here’s how to determine whether to work with a health coach or therapist:
Speak to a Health Coach
If you’re looking for strategies to manage stress, set boundaries, or recover from burnout, a health coach can provide practical tools and accountability. Coaching is ideal for goal-setting and creating sustainable wellness habits.
Speak to a Therapist
If the holidays bring up unresolved trauma, depression, or anxiety that feels unmanageable, reach out to a therapist. Therapy is essential for working through deep emotional wounds and understanding the root causes of your distress.
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving doesn’t have to leave you drained or resentful. By prioritizing your needs, setting firm boundaries, and planning for recovery, you can reclaim your holiday season.
Remember, your well-being is not negotiable. If you need extra support, whether from a coach or therapist, reach out. The holidays are just one season of your life, and with the right tools, you can navigate them with grace and strength.
Need help managing holiday stress or recovering from burnout? Let’s work together to create a personalized plan that works for you.
Article References
The sources cited in the article:
American Psychological Association (APA). "Even a Joyous Holiday Season Can Cause Stress for Most Americans." APA- Holiday Stress
Psychology Today. “Dysfunctional Families and the Holidays.” Psychology Today - Dysfunctional Families Holidays
Mayo Clinic. "9 Tips to Fend Off Holiday Stress." Mayo Clinic - Holiday Stress
The NY Times. "Speak Up at Thanksgiving. Your Health Demands It.” NYTimes - Thanksgiving Health
HuffPost. “Psychologists Explain How to Deal with the Nightmare That is Thanksgiving Dinner.” HuffPost - Thanksgiving Tips
