You Are the Average of the 5 People You Spend the Most Time With; Choose Wisely
Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” While it might sound like a simple cliché, this concept carries profound implications for your health, wellness, and personal growth.
Research now shows that while we are all unique and authentic individuals, our environment significantly influences, motivates, and drives us. According to Jim Rohn's theory, the five people you spend the most time with play a pivotal role in shaping who you are.
As a health and wellness coach, I’ve seen firsthand how the company you keep influences not just your habits, but your mindset, values, and overall quality of life. Whether you’re trying to overcome chronic stress, build better fitness habits, or achieve a balanced lifestyle, the people closest to you can either propel you forward or hold you back.
Your Inner Circle Shapes Your Identity
Humans are social creatures, and we naturally adapt to the norms and behaviors of those around us. This phenomenon, known as social contagion, is well-documented in psychology. Our habits, attitudes, and even health behaviors are influenced by the people we spend the most time with.
For example:
Health Habits: Studies show that people with friends who prioritize exercise and healthy eating are more likely to adopt those habits themselves. Conversely, being surrounded by those with sedentary lifestyles or unhealthy habits can make it harder to stay on track.
Mindset: Positive, growth-oriented individuals can inspire you to push past your limits, while those with negative attitudes may drain your energy and discourage you from pursuing your goals.
Stress Levels: Chronic stress often stems not just from our environments but also from the people in them. Toxic relationships can increase cortisol levels, disrupt sleep, and harm your mental health.
How to Evaluate Your Inner Circle
Being mindful of your relationships doesn’t mean cutting everyone out of your life, but it does require reflection. Consider these questions:
Do they align with your values?
Are they supportive of your goals, or do they undermine them?
Do they encourage healthy habits or tempt you into self-sabotage?
Do they inspire growth?
Are they committed to personal development?
Do their actions motivate you to be a better version of yourself?
Do they contribute to a positive environment?
How do you feel after spending time with them? Energized or drained?
Do they foster trust, kindness, and mutual respect?
Curating a Circle That Elevates You
If your current environment isn’t supporting your wellness goals, here’s how to make intentional changes:
Seek Out Like-Minded Individuals
Surround yourself with people who share your commitment to health and growth. Join fitness groups, wellness communities, or even online forums where you can connect with supportive individuals.
Set Boundaries with Negative Influences
Toxic relationships can derail your progress. If you can’t cut ties completely, establish clear boundaries to protect your mental and emotional energy.
Be the Person You Want to Attract
Like attracts like. If you want to be around motivated, health-conscious, and positive people, embody those traits yourself. Your energy will naturally attract others with similar values.
Invest in Your Relationships
Quality over quantity. Deep, meaningful connections with a few supportive people are far more impactful than a large network of acquaintances. Prioritize relationships that uplift and inspire you.
The Health and Wellness Connection
From a health coach perspective, your social circle can make or break your progress:
Fitness: Working out with a buddy or joining a class boosts accountability and consistency.
Nutrition: Meal prepping with a friend or sharing healthy recipes makes sticking to your goals more enjoyable.
Stress Management: Friends who encourage mindfulness practices or simply provide a listening ear can lower stress levels.
My Final Piece of Advice: Choose Wisely
The people closest to you have a direct impact on your habits, mindset, and overall well-being. While you can’t always choose your environment, you can be intentional about the relationships you nurture and the energy you allow into your life.
Surround yourself with individuals who inspire you, challenge you to grow, and align with your values. Remember, you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with—so make sure they’re people who reflect the life and health you aspire to build.
Article References
The sources cited in the article:
Entrepreneur. "Why the Five People Around You Are Crucial for Your Success." Entrepreneur - The Five People Around You
Inc. “What the 5 People Closest to You Say About Your Future.” Inc - What the 5 People Closest to You Say About Your Future
Forbes. "Surrounding Yourself With the Right People Changes Everything." Forbes - Surrounding Yourself With the Right People
National Institutes of Health (NIH). "Dimensions of Wellness: Change Your Habits, Change Your Life.” NIH - Wellness
National Institutes of Health (NIH). “The Power of Peers: Who Influences Your Health?” NIH - The Power of Peers
Psychology Today. “The Surprising Power of Your Social Circles.” Psychology Today - Power of Your Social Circles
Harvard Business School. “How to Live Happier in 2023: Diversify Your Social Circle.” Harvard - Diversify Your Social Circle
